light waves

Waimea Bay

Waves
I toss and turn so much each night
that my skin might as well be turquoise
I rock so much that my eyes
should be blue

I often am afraid that I am going to suffocate
how I felt with the blankets on Robin Lane
or that time that I stole his bike
and hid it behind the bushes in the park

And I often do
each time for a new reason
the suffocation is unexpected
floating 
then suddenly I am gasping for air 


How is it that darkness is considered the absence of light? Are we talking about total darkness here, like "utter darkness" or just "kind of darkness"? And while we're at it, what constitutes light? And I'm not talking scientifically. I'm talking real life. I can identify specific months, days, or times in my life that are characterized by one of the two: darkness or lightness. But I also can identify many months, days, or times that have been a mixture of both. And I think that's perfectly real too. It's time to acknowledge these "mixtures.". It is these that make up our experiences that are suffering, pain, joy, and freedom all at once. These are waves of light. There is light, undeniable and beautiful light. A first kiss, getting a raise at work, setting a goal and reaching it, meeting the love of your life. But what is also undeniable is the waves that carry this light. The crashing, dark, heavy waves that carry you along in your journey.